Thursday, April 29, 2010

'm sorry I let you down

People always brag about being let down.. I agree it hurts to be let down by someone whom you trusted.. But one thing, its even more awful to realise that you've let someone down.. I did.. There have been things that hurt me.. hurt me like hell.. but nothing like this happened ever before.. may be it did.. but I realised it this time.. My God.. its something I'd regret for the rest of my life..I thought I'd grown up.. I considered myself old enough to decide things on my own.. I considered myself mature enough that I did not need suggestions anymore.. Well, I was wrong.. Though I did not know what was right for me, I sure did realise what was not right for me.. I might not have made the right decision.. But I know it'll make things better.. Definitely better.. I have always wanted to do things to please you.. To make you smile.. To make you proud for having me.. Whenever someone asked who my inspiration was, I'd not mention anyone in particular but would silently think of you.. I always wanted to grow into someone like you.. Tomorrow I want to be like what you are.. I know I won't be upto the mark.. but all I want to try is grow into you.. All the while doing things so as to please you.. Make you happy.. None but you.. But today you stand let down.. Let down by Me, whom you always counted upon, whom you always believed.. Whom you always dreamt about..Whom you always pinned your hopes on.. I'm sure I'll make up for this.. Time will heal all.. I will come up well.. But today.. All I can do to wipe this guilt off my mind.. and wipe those silent tears you shed.. is apologise.. I'm sorry for letting you down.. I'm really sorry for letting you down.. Dad, forgive me..Someday, I'll make you proud..

I know my dad'll never read this post.. This is all I wanted to tell him.. let him know.. Some day I'll make him proud..


Sunday, April 18, 2010

Long day..

I'm exhausted.. well totally .. this is supposed to be a sunday and still it was the busiest day of the week.. I had my lab.. worst of all the things that happened today!! Stupid most experiment..
Manged to get the output.. Went to coll at eleven.. Was made to wait till one.. Was sitting all alone . with none around me within a radius of 50 metres.. (Thanks to my friends!!) And then there was this stupid lab.. Canteen closed.. No water,nothing to have a bite.. ****ing hot weather.. Sunday.. Trains crowded like hell.. Lesser frequency.. Tired tired tired..

I wish I could be a computer which can refresh with a single click.. Wish I were a camel.. Wish i were anything but me.. And once again.. I'm exhausted..