Sunday, June 23, 2013

Government to open three new IITs internationally to make teenagers lives miserable

26th June 2013,

New Delhi.

The Planning Commission met as early as 10:00 am here at New Delhi to discuss what was possibly one of the most ambitious projects (only next to the Family Planning scheme and the Education for All programme) conceptualized by an Indian governmental body. At the end of the meeting the Planning Commission came to a consensus three new IITs are being planned one each in New York, London and Sydney. 

When asked about the sudden meeting and the decisions made, "The weather was really good and it was imperative that we met for some chai-samosa. And regarding the decisions, we have been debating new prospects and it seemed only obvious that we have to scale 
up" said one of the chief members of the Commission.

He also mentioned that with the results of the IIT-JEE 2013 declared just a couple of days back, the number of suicide attempts and the statistics pertaining to the number of teenagers who have been scarred for life served as the primary motivators behind the new idea.

It is also rumored that the three news IITs are just the first step towards the internationalization of IITs and soon would be extended to Paris, Buenos Aires, Cape Town and a few more cities across the globe. 

"Frankly, the teenagers elsewhere are too happy for their own good and are delving into irrelevant ares of education that does not involve Maths, Physics and Chemistry. Who needs music degrees in an era where music is all about Autotune and lyrics involving only sounds and dedicated filler words like 'babe','baby' and 'gurl'?" said one retired government official who prefers to remain unnamed.

"We are also planning on establishing one IIT in Beijing if these attempts become successful. But that IIT will only have the Humanities departments of IIT so that we can slyly suppress Chinese Engineers. Admission to that IIT will also involve Math, Physics and Chemistry in case the Chinese get alarmed and choose to skip JEE" said Mr. 
'Cos theta' Kameshwaran who will be the Chief Architect of the Engineering programme at the new IITs.

Economics experts in India exclaim that this is a welcome move and would affect the start up scene in India in a positive way. When asked how this is relevant to the Indian start-up scene the collective response was that "IIT+IIM graduates who watch 'Jobs the movie' next year might want to drop out and do something productive. But since they would have already graduated they might quit their work and decide to start up. They would surely take inspirations from the mastermind coaching centers at Kota and also FITJEE, Brilliant Tutorials and other elite institutions."

As a last word when asked about maintaining quality across all IITs the Chief Spokesperson of the Planning Commission said that "As a rule, we are planning to admit not more than one girl for every 25 students in the new IITs which would automatically ensure that the new IITs are also vested with the marked difference between any standard Engineering institution and the IITs."

This revolutionary idea seems to promise a lot of things that could lead to the general betterment of Humanity. It has already become a roaring success as Indian parents across the globe particularly in America are torn under the pressure of choosing between training their toddlers for Spelling Bee competitions and the IIT-JEE. 

"We are clearly stumped about the new decisions made by the Planning Commission. The divergence from the general trend of making our children learn to spell 'Faux Pas' and 'Enchante' at the age of 4 to Maths, Physics and Chemistry coaching would be quite a challenge", said one agitated parent over Skype.

Will this be the idea of the decade or lead to an IIT-GATE (not the entrance exam, the scam) scandal ? Only time will tell.

தொட்டில் பழக்கம்

நேற்று உடையாத பொம்மை இன்று உடையுமா என்று தொட்டிலில் இருந்த படி யோசனை

இன்றைய கதையிலாவது ராஜா போரில் தோற்றாரா என்ற சிந்தனை

இன்றும் அரிசிக்கலவை  தானா இல்லை அப்பாவுக்கு மதிய உணவுடன் அனுப்பப்படும் சத்தமெழுப்பும் அப்பளத்துண்டை தர அம்மாவுக்கு தைரியம் வருமா என்ற கவலை

முத்தமிடுகையில் குத்தும் அப்பாவின்  மீசையை தவிர்க்க முகத்தை இன்று  எந்த திசையில் திருப்பலாம் என்ற மனக்குழப்பம்

நான் சொன்ன முதல் வார்த்தை 'அம்மா' தான் என்றும் 'அப்பா' தான் என்றும் சண்டையை இன்றைக்கும் தூங்குவதைப்போல் நடித்தால் கேட்டு மகிழமுடியுமா?

இப்படி பழக்கப்படுத்திவிட்டு

இன்று ஞாயிறு ஆயிற்றே பேருந்து வருமோ வராதோ சம்பளத்தில் பிடித்துவிடுவானோ என்று கவலைப்பட கற்றுக்கொடுத்தது தான் யார்?

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Long due

It has been a while. Not just a while. It has been years. 

3 years and a few months to be precise.

Its like getting hit so hard that I'm on my knees and I have lost all the strength to get back up. 

I am exhausted. I always thought giving my best meant reaping the rewards for the effort that went in. I never once realized that my best need not always be good enough.

Its hard. Its like walking down some road blindfolded, knowing that there's a cliff in the end.

I had to come back to this place. 

I had to ask for help. 

It happened again today. After a long time. After giving everything and losing it all.

I prayed.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

The dark side of Facebook

Everybody and their dog has an account on Facebook today. But do you take enough care to ensure that your data (photos, posts and the rest) remain as safe as possible?

Facebook as a social media platform serves more as a photo album for most people these days. But the sad part of all this is that people do not have control of what's posted on the internet. 

In the movie Social Network, Mark Zuckerberg's then girlfriend Erica Albright says

The internet's not written in pencil, its written in ink.
People should understand the seriousness of this point. When you post something on the internet, it is almost always impossible to remove all traces of it. Do a Google search of your name and see for yourself. 

Everyday I see so many people upload photos of everyday happenings. Men, women, dogs and cats alike. How secure are these photos? How much control do you have on who sees and doesn't get to see these photos? Not much. But you can ensure it is as safe as Facebook allows you to be. 

You ask me why you have to care about taking the effort to make changes to your privacy settings on Facebook?

Take a look at this page: One of the million ugly pages on Facebook This is just one of the so many pages that share photos of women that are publicly available on Facebook, rate them, discuss them and post obscene comments about the women whom they don't know all this without the knowledge of the respected girl. You could be happily uploading your picture showcasing the new pretty dress you bought for your birthday, which would then get shared across the world for perverted men to discuss things about you in public. Please go report abuse on that Facebook page, you'd be doing good to someone's sister/wife/girlfriend.

Try not to upload a lot of personal photographs. Getting 'likes' and comments praising you are of course internet validation metrics, but definitely not at this cost.

I'd like to list a few things that you can follow to ensure that your photos on Facebook are protected:

Use Facebook's privacy settings. They provide you with options to control right from the person who can message you to the persons whom you can completely block.

This can be found by clicking the 'lock icon' found in the top right corner of your Facebook page.  If you click 'Who can see my stuff?',  you'll see something like this:

Make sure you change the 'Who can see my future posts?' to 'Friends' or choose a list of people if you've created one such list already. If you click 'Use Activity Log' you can see what all you've done on Facebook. Right from the posts you 'liked', to the comments you posted and also the posts you hid from your timeline. This cannot be accessed by anyone but yourself, use this to check and monitor your own activity.

If you click 'Who can contact me?' you'll see something like this:

I suggest you choose the 'Strict filtering' option unless you care about messages from people you do not know. Also the second option helps you choose who can send friend requests to you.

If you want to block someone, make use of the third option. You'll see something like this:

If you click 'See more settings' you'll be taken to this window where you can alter setting concerning tags, posts, timeline and how others see your timeline.


As a thumb rule, ask people before uploading their photos. Even if you're changing your display picture which has someone along with you (man, woman, dog, cat doesn't matter) ask them if they would mind. It is polite and would avoid unnecessary trouble.

Remember the following:

1) Your cover photos are ALWAYS PUBLIC. You are not allowed to change the visibility settings of your cover photos so as much as you can, ensure you don't upload photos of yourself or your friends which you do not want to be shared. 

2) Your CURRENT PROFILE PICTURE is PUBLIC. So when you upload a picture as your DP it is by default public. When you upload a new profile picture, you'll see something like this:

Instead of 'Friends' it will say 'Public'. Click on that to change it to 'Friends'. If you keep it as 'Friends of friends', people who are friends with your friends and are NOT your friend will be able to access it. As far as I know, even this is potentially dangerous.

I think everyone who uses Facebook must follow at least these basic steps to take care of their Facebook data, especially photos. Pass this to your friends and family so that they can avoid unnecessary trouble.