SOP of a porn star

This post contains obtuse use of profane language and the author strictly advises people who do not want to change their opinions on me from worse to worst, against reading this piece. Read at your own risk. 



To be or not to be is yesterday's question while to be with how many is today's.


My objective for graduate studies in the field of Algorithms in Simulations and stimulation of  simultaneous copulation is to prepare myself for a sustained and consistent career in the field said. I have developed this ambition long since I could remember and I have always pursued it with a hardcore approach to gain in-depth knowledge.


My interests vary from threesome to so many other awesome modus operandi and I'm sure that I'm familiar with the basics. Also I have thoroughly studied the papers on "Aesthetics of multiple orgasms" and my rigorous approach on preparing a self experiment based on the said paper was immensely encouraged by almost all the male faculty not only in my department, but also many others whose name I wouldn't prefer to mention for customary reasons.


I'm familiar with the operation of Square wave vibrators which work solely based on the principle of generation of Moans( pronounced as ooh-laa-laa) , muons and positrons developed by the world reknown Dr.Prakash who is a proud alumnus of my institution.


Therefore, I, Parimala Anbarasan, wish to enrol myself in the graduate program offered by you, The University of Penisylvania, through which I'm sure to gain first hand experiences and exclusive knowledge which would sure encourage me to pursue a PhD if offered in your University.




Sincerely,
Parimala Anbarasan.