Thursday, June 28, 2012

Fourth world problems

So many centuries back, some knowledgeable people (who probably were the ancestors of today's knowledgeable Chennai crowd) classified people into four kinds (or varnas, for the Sanskrit-ly inclined). People those days didn't do much except praying, fighting or something like that. The four divisions were 

Kshatriyas- people who fought.
Brahmanas - people who performed scholarly activities (like reading The Hindu from top to bottom)
Vaisyas - people who bought and sold things, merchant folk.
Sudras - people who did physical labor.

Today, three of the four classifications have merged with multiple regional and religion based sects and what remains in the Brahmanas and that too only in the name. I call this group the fourth world.

I think just because they were self proclaimed scholars in the ancient times there are a million hurdles and loopholes to make sure none of the modern day citizens of the fourth world would be eligible to carry out the pursuit of knowledge. 

The fourth world is also referred to as the 'forward community' in pop culture. That's like the best irony inspired name ever. It gives tough competition to terms like relative grading, flash mob, engineering college and music director Harris Jeyaraj. 

In the mark driven educational society today, the fourth world can only sustain itself if it chooses to embrace illiteracy. I mean come on, there are so many jobs one can end up without getting a degree. 

"What is your percentage in class 10?"


"Good. What about class 12?"


"Very good, very good. Where is your community certificate?"

"I don't have one. Forward community."


"You should've worked hard in class 12. You are 4% short of the cut off."

"But I have 99.5% already."

"I know. But that's what the system says. The system is never wrong."

Well, the system is never wrong. No?

Okay. So, if I decide to follow my ancestors and resort to priestly professions, even they are competitive. People fight reservations, finish doctorates in posh foreign universities and once they get married, they come back to India, put their kids in PSBB, grow a pony tail and become vaaddhiyaars. So if I finish school with a meagre 98% and try getting into one such profession, I will be ineligible for that also. What should I do tell me? I think this is all a master plan to make sure nobody from the forward community remains to fight against reservation. They are aiming at a society filled with peace and harmony by waiting till all the people of the fourth world die.

Lets look at the possible jobs where there are no reservations:

1. Item dancer - best possible job. But men cannot apply because of penis and poonal.

2. Bodyguard for the dons/mafia heads - not possible because of curd rice.

3. Politician - No money, no politics. Yes money, no need of politics. Paradox.

And a few others like amateur photographer, social media expert etc. People used to become writers but these days one needs an MBA from the IIMs to become a writer. 

So to sum up one does not simply be born as a citizen of the fourth world and also expect decent education. Oh wait, you cannot control that.

Pesama naanum kalacharatha kaapatha poidlamnu iruken.