Random musings..

I think I'm bored.


I have been totally restless since I woke up, which was around twelve in the afternoon. So bored that I was plain annoying to everyone in the house. tried to watch a movie, listen to songs nothing worked out. 
Now I'm here trying to type a post since its been long since I posted anything. And this seems to crash as well. Let me check if someone's mailed me.


Logging in yahoo..
No unread mails, hmm.


Check Rediff.
Same here, there's one single unread e-mail that I mailed myself.


Twitter? I just closed it, but still there could be something new Its Twitter after all.. 


Hmm, there's a Quiz rather Kweezzz going on. tried my hand at a few questions in the beginning. Did not work out.
I'm totally clueless even to provide lame answers.


There's facebook, hmm logging in.


Ha, exams for everyone, right. Closing window.


What shall I do now?


Ya, check usage. That's a place where there's always something new and shocking.
Oh my, i have used too much. So no internet for the last week, sigh.


Check blog traffic, comments tab, keywords to find anything funny..


Checking mail again..Twitter.. seeing if someone accidentally hit the follow button.


Sigh this is depressing.


Sending all the best messages to everyone.. people are replying immediately. Guess M3 is easy.


Should've gone to meet those three. Stupid Washing machine! Why should it get faulty on this very day and why should I be left in charge of looking after it!


This is really frustrating. 


I think I'm bored. 

The Theory Behind Everything..

The following is a work of fiction based on actual facts.Names,places and incidences are subject to modifications from actual existence.

Washington, 28^th December 2004, 2:00 pm.

            He read out his name from the shield. Jonathan Bolt Smith. He liked the feel of it. It was the first recognition he received and he hoped there were more to come. The Geological Survey of the US of A awards the prestigious “Breakthrough of the year” award to one of its members every year and this year Jonathan, Joe had gotten lucky.29 years old and now he had an office of his own, a gift from Smith sr. who was an Archaeologist. He was sitting in his office admiring his brand new furnishings and reliving those moments he was sure he’d cherish for a long time. He was lost in thoughts while the computer screen in front of him popped him the arrival of a new mail.

From: Cynthia

Sub: Heyyy!

Hi there! Cheers again on the breakthrough. Must have been a blast last night. Sorry that I couldn’t make it. A cover story was waiting and now something says this might fetch you another shield. Don’t get too excited but something seems prospective. Meet me at the usual at 5. 

Cynth.

He had 3 hours to kill. Cynthia was not someone who insisted on meeting personally unless it was something really important. He had a report to finish and the weekly article on his web-log to compile. He sat out to work putting the meeting out of his mind.

He reached a few minutes early. He did not have to look at the watch to know it was five. If she was there it meant it was five. Both her hands were busy carrying old tattered books whose contents he couldn’t guess from a distance. He ordered two lattes, one black for himself.

“Seems you require more than two hands”

“You bet. Give me a hand. So much to say, so little time.”

“I’m game. Catch your breath before you start with the news of my next breakthrough”

She laughed.

“You never know. First, tell me if you’re free for a couple of weeks from now.”

“New office done with furnishing, reports sent, Well, I guess there’s nothing that would keep me busy for a while.”

“Perfect. We don’t even have time to pack. Hop into my car. We’re starting right away.”

“Where?”

“Athens”

Before he could answer he was thrust in his hands with the books and she was already on her way out. He had no option but to follow. Pretty girl calling, of course you can follow without questions. But Greece seemed far fetched.

They were at JFK in no time. Reckless driving is something he always accused her of. Bold, tall and straightforward, Cynth, Cynthia Jane Adams was a perfect reporter material. She briefed him that she had gotten a call from one of her trusted friends who was on a vacation to Greece. He listened carefully to whatever she said and assumed things would be clearer once he reaches the scene. All he got from what she said was they had found a specimen on the shore in someplace he didn’t bother to ask again and this had interested her as it made her recollect something that they had discussed a few months before.

Before he could put his thoughts together he was hearing the boarding call for the flight GAE11707 which meant he will be airborne to Greece in a few minutes. He made a quick call to his dad en route to JFK and informed about his trip. It was official and he was being sent representing US of A. Cynth always managed to pull strings but one couldn’t always get Lear jets like the heroes who chased stories.

He was moving at about 12,000 miles an hour at a height of about 30,000 feet. Cynthia was too excited. She looked like an animated bunny, poring through notes and he loved to see her this way.

 

Ancient Delphi, Circa 14 A.D

While all of Delphi was praying to Eos, Ouranus was busy gazing at the sky looking out for signs of Venus. He was far in thoughts from all of Delphi put together. It was Calypso’s wedding in three days and Daedalus did not want anything to go wrong and so did his subjects. The people of Delphi worshipped Daedalus literally. Next to the Gods he was everything. They believed he was Zeus in disguise. Ouranus did not like people considering the King as God. It was insane according to him. He was practical and was interested in Nature. He kept insisting people that everything was not magic. He believed there was a reason behind everything. From chirping of birds to chopping of trees. Hyacinthius admired him for that. She was the daughter of Arachne, the advisor to the King.  Arachne did not like his daughter falling for some local lad who did not even have a means of livelihood. Ouranus used to meet people of the locale everyday and speak about logic, reasoning and Nature. Daedalus hated him. He was waiting for a perfect moment to trap Ouranus, but this was not the time. He was busy overlooking arrangements for Calypso’s wedding. The wedding was to be held on Friday at dawn, with the blessings of Eos, which will be presided over by the King himself and witnessed by the whole of Delphi.

It was Thursday morning and Ouranus was up earlier than usual. He did not sleep properly. He was considering the calculations he made the previous evening. Something did not add up. He tried to locate the early morning moon. He found it and went back to his calculations. It was several hours past noon when he moved away from his desk.

Hyacinthius happened to meet him at the Agora and they spoke for a long time and Ouranus explained the possibility of an eclipse the next day. He was excited and happy as this was his closest prediction ever and if it really did happen he would be accurate for the first time.

It was the eve of the wedding and Calypso was sent to the temple of Apollo as per the tradition. The bride should spend the night at the temple praying to all the Gods for a long life and prosperity of her marriage. The wedding procedure will begin once the first rays of the Sun are visible above the horizon. Helios’s sign that the day has begun and darkness is dead.

Daedalus saw the first rays of the Sun and declared that the proceedings to begin. It was time for the bride and the groom to get into wedlock and suddenly it was suddenly dark everywhere. The crowd let out a gasp. Arachne and others were worried. Daedalus was angry. The crowd started murmuring. They believed Helios was angry. None knew what was happening. Ouranus was smiling to himself. He tried to explain it to the King. He reasoned why things turned this way. This angered him even more. In a jiffy he ordered execution of Ouranus. The wedding was called off.

It was Monday, same place in front of the giant sculpture of Apollo at the Mount Parnassus. The sun dial had the Themis inscribed on it.

το θείο δίκαιο τιμωρεί τους ενόχους με θάνατο

(The Divine Law punishes the guilty with death)

Usually prisoners were tied to a giant rock and were rolled down the slopes of the Parnassus. Ouranus was to meet the same fate. Hyacinthius pleaded The King to show mercy. She claimed Euripides would not allow such a mistake to happen. Arachne threatened her of Thantos, death, the same fate and ignored her.

The execution took place. Ouranus was known to be one of the last few to meet such a brutal fate. Hyacinthius killed herself at dusk the same day.

Athens 28^th December 2004 6:30 pm,

They were descending. Joe had gotten hang of what Cynthia meant. He got the feeling that this might indeed be a breakthrough. Award did not matter. This would be a personal triumph. They landed. He got down half expecting an ATV, All Terrain Vehicle originally designed by the Archaeological Society of the US of A for which the Pentagon took credit. He was surprised to see an SUV. He was joined by Thomas Walker, the one who had called Cynthia earlier that morning. It would’ve been the Andalusian sun that would’ve got Joe’s attention if not for these thoughts running on his mind.

South Hampton, 13^th April 1912.

It was a perfect British weather. Not too cold not too hot. The early morning mist had not settled down. The port got busy even before sunrise. Porters, passengers and sailors were engaged in getting ready for the day’s journey. This was not an unusual scene for the eyes of Zeus Brian Zorowsky, who was a frequent traveler and a notable personality among the local crowd. He was part Polish part Italian, nevertheless he was more Brit than most Brits.

The Eastern window, a tiny bar near the port was always crowded. It was like it existed forever. None really knew when it was set up. Zorowsky was having a chat with a few people a while back. There was the ship’s captain among those men. He was proudly boasting of the luxuries she carried. Seven fully furnished cinema halls, an ice-skating arena, Pool tables, eleven bars, five floors, you name it and it was there. Zorowsky was excited as it was the first time he was going aboard this ship. Least did he know there were far more excitements in store.

The passengers were aboard and Captain Edward.J.Smith started another one of his proud journeys across the globe from South Hampton. The vessel halted at Queens town for supplies and sailed with its bow high across the vast expanse of the Atlantic towards the world’s fastest growing country.

On the night of Sunday, 14 April 1912, the temperature had dropped to near freezing and the ocean was calm. The moon was not visible, being two days before new moon and the sky was clear

At 23:40, while sailing about 400 miles (640 km) south of the Grand Banks of Newfoundland lookouts Fredrick Fleet and Reginald Lee spotted a large iceberg directly ahead of the ship. Fleet sounded the ship's bell three times and telephoned the bridge exclaiming, "Iceberg, right ahead!” First Officer Murdoch gave the order "hard-a-starboard", using the traditional tiller order for an abrupt turn to port (left), and adjusted the engines. The iceberg brushed the ship's starboard side (right side), buckling the hull in several places and popping out rivets below the waterline over a length of 299 feet (90 m). As seawater filled the forward compartments, the watertight doors shut. However, while the ship could barely stay afloat with the foremost four compartments flooded, the foremost six were filling with water. The water-filled compartments weighed down the ship's bow, allowing much water to flood the vessel, accelerated by secondary flooding as regular openings in the ship's hull became submerged. Additionally, about 130 minutes after the collision, water started pouring from the sixth into the seventh compartment over the top of the bulkhead in between. Captain Smith, alerted by the jolt of the impact, arrived on the bridge and ordered a full stop. Shortly after midnight on 15 April, following an inspection by the ship's officers and Thomas Andrews, the lifeboats were ordered to be readied and a distress call was sent out.

Around 02:10, the stem rose out of the water exposing the propellers, and by 02:17 the waterline had reached the boat deck. The last two lifeboats floated off the deck. Shortly afterward, the forward funnel collapsed, crushing part of the bridge and people in the water. On deck, people were scrambling towards the stern or jumping overboard in hopes of reaching a lifeboat. The ship's stern slowly rose into the air, and everything unsecured crashed towards the water. While the stern rose, the electrical system finally failed and the lights went out. Shortly afterward, the stress on the hull caused ship to break apart between the last two funnels, and the bow went completely under. The stern righted itself slightly and then rose vertically. After a few moments, at 02:20, it also sank.

Of the 2,223 people who were on board when the ship unchained anchors at South Hampton, 706 survived.

Captain Smith, Fredrick Fleet, Reginald Lee and Zeus Brian Zorowsky sank along with 1514 others on board the RMS Titanic.

28^th December 2004 7:00 pm  

Joe, Cynth and Tom were riding through valleys and hills. Joe was reading a runes book that Cynthia had brought along. The more he read the more he believed things could be true. Cynthia was holding a paper titled “Investigations on the biggest accident in history-Negligence or Nature’s vengeance?” They were on the way to Delphi, place where Daedalus ruled. The place which hold the famous Temple of Apollo on the Mount Parnassus. They were to study a rock specimen which ended up at the shore due to the recent earthquakes at Java and Sumatra. Joe was explaining how ice, when accumulated over time would lead to giant icebergs like the one that made Titanic meet its end. 

Like the one on which Ouranus was to die.

 Like the one they were going to study.

Everything has a reason and logic from chirping of birds to chopping of trees, thought Jonathan Bolt Smith.

The curious case of muniyandi mutton..

"Indha hotel la biriyani kedaikuma?"
(Will biriyani be available in this hotel?)


"Aama idhu periya Muniyandi vilas.Biriyani irundhutta mattum"
(Well,like this is 'Muniyandi vilas',even if there was its not going to be good)


Numerous such conversations have been heard by me.For instance,all halwas are compared to Tirunelveli halwa because there's a particular halwa maker who made Tirunelveli famous for halwas.This is a factual and obvious reference.So many places in India have become references for stuff they are seldom famous for.


Like, "Ivaru periya George bush.English la thaan pesuvaro" (You think you're George bush or what? Will you speak nothing but English?) 


This is highly irrelevant considering George Bush and almost all the Americans for that matter speak English in the most crappy way possible.


Acting like Bombay heroines, Playing like Sachin, Writing poetry like Shakespeare(I bet people who uses this can never comprehend a single verse from his works.Trust me, his wife ran away) all these are insane references.Bombay heroines cannot act,Sachin's son is not able to imitate him and Shakespeare need I say more? 

If this they call it sarcasm either they are too old or too dumb.
I'd say Dancing like Bhagyaraj,Poetry like Mirchi Shiva,Six like Gavaskar and Sex like Rakhi Sawant might fall under Sarcasm of my age.Get updated,Get upgraded.

Happy birthday!!

The day passed before I could realise.Its been a year since Immaculate Misconceptions™ ;) was born.Initially it was I,Me,Myself  and I somehow came to a conclusion(no vasthu, trust me) that a name change would spice things up. Now here I stand 365 days,52 weeks later as a 65 post old blog :) I have visited this page almost everyday.This is where I realised I could write. This brought me comments from quality readers.I made new friends and most of all I hope this blog did and continues to please my best of friends. Writing posts and reading them once they are published,its second to nothing.I find no words to thank Guru and Srini who were instrumental and who made me start writing.They made me discover myself.I would never have put pen on paper and have started writing and this provided me a easy-lazy way to unleash the best I could.


Pramodh, Ragul, Sai, Noorul, Sanjana, Harini, Swathi, Christabel, Aparna, Prasad, Keerthi, Venky and ofcourse Guru and Srini who have constantly endured the pains of reading through the posts and commenting aptly really stand matchless and inevitable to the writer in me.I made two very good friends Keerthi and Venkat.You people truly have added a whole different flavor to my life.Comments from anonymous readers are an added pleasure.Someone from a faraway place taking time off their life to read a post,this simply is the most wonderful part of blogging.I got excellent comments and got to visit some brilliant posts.Ambarish,someone who found this page when he was blog hopping has been giving constructive comments and I'm glad that a few posts pleased him.Hoping I'd meet you someday.
These people and many more continue to make an impact and inspire me to make many more posts.Blog-a-ton brought the fiction writer out.I consider Goodbye as my best post and it sure will remain my best work ever.Hoping to put in more posts and importantly quality posts this year. All that'll make me write more are your comments and suggestions.Keep visiting and reading.If you don't like a post tell me,if you do tell others.Bring more readers I promise I'll bring you more posts ;). Eternally grateful to you people.

Cheers,
Vignesh  :)

Vent..

I really wish I could put an end to all this.
Lonely, left out tired of saying all this.
Sucks when you get a goodnight as a reply when you send hi.
My eye is getting worse.Probably Conjun-fucking-tivitis.
I need a break.
I need a filter.
I need a vent.
Its been long since I cried.
I don't want to.
I've learnt being strong is the only option.
That blank and shallow vacuum,I have started seeing it quite so often lately.
I wish i could get away from all this.
I need a break.
You of all people!
 The movie thing.
The thing that left me.Rather left us.
The way I have become hard on the outside all the while feeling terrible inside.
I need a break.I want to go away.
From all of you.For a long time.Long that you'll stop missing me.Long that I'll stop missing you.
I really wish I could put an end to it.

Oh Gawd!

Every morning
Sapiens rise up and pray
Man,animal or woman
Are indifferently your prey.


Some state you as the reason
For sun,stars and big bang.
For some mysterious reason
Scientists don't get a hang.


The gardens and the great wall
Are man made wonders
They say you are in charge
Man thinks and he ponders.


He has no faith
He calls himself theist
Someone comes and questions
You name him atheist.


For me you are
And sometimes not.
Hiding it is a frost
I'm named agnost.


War,love or peace
You don't give a shit.
You call yourself god
That simply doesn't fit.

Sarfaroshi ki tamanna..

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 15; the fifteenth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

I was staring at all the blood and broken shreds of glass. I have never seen so much blood all at once. Panic, nausea and fear gripped me. What was I supposed to do? Run haywire like everyone around me? Stay there? Cry? Break down? Faint? To this day I cannot recall why that moment I was taken to that memory. That particular day

 ***

The sounds of vendors and distinct chatter startled me. I’m someone who doesn’t usually sleep during journeys. But this was a particularly long one and I had nothing better to do. Rubbing my groggy eyes, I woke up to see that the train had stopped at some place which I couldn’t identify. Half heartedly accepting the job at a construction site in some village at Jharkand, which would break my seven month stint of joblessness and more than that the daily dosage of scornful looks from the people who were family. I wanted to go someplace far off and this gave the right cue.

After splashing my face with water from the water bottle I had bought at the previous station I took a look outside at the station. It seemed there was some problem with the tracks a few kilometers ahead and the train would not leave until that was attended to. It was a beautiful weather. The clouds were like a little kid with a premonition that he wouldn’t be bought the toy he wished for, ready to cry, waiting for the perfect moment.

There was no beautiful girl in my compartment like I was taught by the numerous movies I saw through the years. One fantasy that never came true. I looked around the station, being an architect myself I found it hard to identify the pattern of construction. Nevertheless the view was breathtaking, similar to the ones you see in postcards from foreign countries. Tired of looking around, I tried to go back to sleep.

I heard voices right outside my window. Three men, must be strangers, were introducing themselves. Strange how people make friends in journeys like this. I have never been able to. May be because I don’t open up much. They were fellow passengers and remained just the same. I couldn’t help but listen to their conversation.

“Thanks so much bhai, my wife would become so worried even if I return an hour late. Can’t blame her. My area is full of extremists and I am equally scared to travel alone after dark” said one man to the other probably thanking him for a phone call.

“Is it always like this here? I have to report at 10 am tomorrow. With this problem I don’t think I will be able to”

“It’s the Government”, the third man joined in. “They take villages for granted. They hesitate to spend money like they’re spending it from their own pockets. Corrupt scoundrels”

“Very true bhai, electricity,water, everything is scarce over there. We have been living there for generations. The world outside is so different from what we call our world “

“ I’m from the south. Going on deputation. Mom and dad were so worried when I said Jharkand. Naxal problems and all that. But a job is a job. Its not like I’m in the army or something” He laughed saying that.

“Young men. You don’t fear anything. The country needs more of your kind”

“My grandfather was in the army bhai, 30^th infantry division. Shot to death in the sepoy mutiny. My whole family is proud to say that we are in his lineage”

“Nothing like fighting for the country. People downsouth are brought up being nurtured by stories of bravery and sacrifice. Its hard to be like that today. Honesty, patriotism all these have lost values”

Silence followed.

“Terrorism plays upper hand. Its so sad to see things like that everyday on tv”

“I see things like that happening right in front of me once a week. Got used to it”

“Terrorists think they’re more patriotic. Sad part is that they kill in the name of religion while no religion preaches them to kill nor take up violence”

“God is watching everyone. I pray everyday to make people better by giving them brains to think. When’ll God open his eyes? Cannot see that happening anytime soon”

“There is Judgment for everyone. God waits at the Palace gates to decide who falls where. Those cruel beasts will rot in hell”

“Qayamat holds all answers bhai. It pains to see kids and women falling victims to these barbarians”

The whistle blew and the voices faded away as I drifted off to sleep.

***

The memory unfolded in front of me. I realized I was standing in the middle of a pile of rubble. Screaming mothers and weeping wives. People of all religion bathed in the same color devoid of all differences..

Least did I know what Shankar Iyer, Muhammed Haneef and Johnson would be thinking after watching this on tv the following afternoon.

***

Sarfaroshi ki tamanna ab hamaare dil mein hai

Dekhna hai zor kitna baazu-e-qaatil mein hai

Aye watan, Karta nahin kyun doosree kuch baat-cheet

Dekhta hun main jise woh chup teri mehfil mein hai

Aye shaheed-e-mulk-o-millat main tere oopar nisaar

Ab teri himmat ka charcha gair ki mehfil mein hai

Sarfaroshi ki tamanna ab hamaare dil mein hai

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Credits
Image - Alston Station by Wandering Soul
Courtesy - www.deviantart.com via www.blogaton.in

To make a short story long..

It was a giant Oak tree.It has always been that.She shared everything with the tree.In fact the Oak tree was her confidant.It knew everything about her.The tree had always been in their garden.It was probably centuries old.It must have been there before her dad bought the place a decade back.Now she was there,standing before the oak tree holding back her tears.She never thought she'd forget the lines.It was her first recital and she made a fool of herself before the whole school.Halfway into the recital she was gasping and hardly a word  came out of her mouth.She started sobbing ran down the stage on to her mom's embrace.And now there she was to pour her heart out to her Oak tree

She wanted to get into her office immediately.Her corner office made her shut off the noisy outer world.Her corner office amidst three sixty degrees of tall,glass windowed,multi-storeyed buildings.For the people who see from the outside her world was full of happy successful people.They represented the tiny percentage of people who made a good fortune.The ferraris and the BMWs stood as material proofs.But she knew all these did not matter the least.If only they knew what it was like to be in the corporate world.

It was her eighth birthday.She could not keep her hands off her new bike.It was a gift from her dad.Something she never asked for.Something she really was happy to have been gifted with.She was riding it in circles around her Oak tree.This is a happy memory that would last for years.

She was never late to work.The other staffs have never seen her arriving.Rumour was that she never left her corner office.She loved the place.She was poring through the dozen page long report that she was to acknowledge and the one in which the guy in administration had rambled upon for pages and pages which could've been a much shorter report.She hated inefficiency.She was a leader and a tough one at that.

It was her twelfth birthday.This one was different from the rest.Her dad had passed away three months back.Pneumonia did not have a good choice in picking victims.While rogues, thieves and murderers lived her dad had to meet death.She learnt not to believe in fairy tales.

She was thirty five.She could not keep count of her age.She loved her work.That made her younger and more attentive by the day.Pushing the report out of her mind she glanced out of the window.it had started snowing early this year.She hated winters.They somehow made her sad.Made her feel lonely and miserable.She never showed her emotions.She shared everything with her mother.But not how she felt when she saw regular women doing regular works.Shopping,taking their kids out for a walk in the park,dining with their husband.Sometimes she wished she never excelled.She would've been like those women happy,whining about unpaid bills and too many kids,but happy nevertheless.

She topped her class in high school.Her successful run continued at college.She was stunningly beautiful.She was taller than average,had long fingers,had that natural tan which girls of her age died to get.Yet she was never asked out for a date.Guys were scared to ask her out.Girls and guys were equally intimidated by her beauty and success.

The coffee on her table had turned cold.She was lost in thoughts.Seldom was she distracted from her work.But it was all until age lines started showing themselves.One of the boldest women you'd see started feeling more and more insecure by the day.

She stopped receiving gifts for her birthdays.It reminded her of her dad and she did not want reasons to feel weak.She learnt the art of accepting life as such at a very young age.She qualified with top decree in from one of the most prestigious business schools.Everyone thought she'd start her own business,with a rich background one would normally be expected to do so.But to everyone's surprise she joined a law firm which was almost broke.It was owned by her dad's lawyer and best friend.She knew the place had potential but they never worked as a team.She was expected to lead people and she did and have been doing it for the past fourteen years over which the firm had evolved as one of the most successful.This indeed was a success story that was often quoted upon.

It was time for her meal.She never had he lunch with her colleagues.She was a regular at the restaurant three blocks away where she could see all sorts of people while she sipped her coffee or cut through her steak.She liked people.She would have loved to have someone to share all these with.

She went back to her office after a quick bite.She had to finish another report.She entered her corner office.Felt home.Removed her coat.Put it carefully on the hanger.She sat on her cozy chair while she saw a folded piece of paper.

It had the name of the restaurant she just came from.It said dinner tonight.She usually had dinner at home.Alone.Probably a toast and coffee.But her curiosity got the better of her.

The snow was heavy.There were dark clouds.Seemed liked it would rain.It was six in the evening and for some reason she was excited.People never left her notes.People never contacted her,but for anything official.She felt a tingling sensation since the moment she folded the note and kept it in her coat pocket.

It was raining heavily.Thankfully the place was only three blocks away.The place was nearly empty,given the rain.She found her usual table.Another envelope.The person knew where she would sit.She was taken aback.Thought it was some cheap prank someone was playing on her.She opened it.The note was handwritten.

If you're reading this,this indeed is the day I better start believing in luck.You better start having some company when you drop in here the next time.The way you look at people and the urge to share something about them and the dismay on seeing empty chairs all around you makes the even the heartless weep.I could have told whatever I'm coming to say at so many different occasions.But all those moments you barely had the time to hear this.So I though I better make you take time out of your life for I have become tired of waiting.

The first time I wanted to say this you were in tears.Its not that I did not want to disturb you,but I was busy looking at you,beautiful with tears and red cheeks and by the time I realised I had to make a move you were long gone.

The next time I did not want to deprive you of the happiness you were experiencing on getting your first bike.

The only thing that's missing here is the Oak tree.Your Oak tree. 

 I could've asked you out during college.But I did not.I too was one among the many who were intimidated by your beauty and brains.Deadly combination I would say.Success was your middle name.

I could fall in love everytime I saw you.You truly swept me off my feet.I could feel that you were feeling lonely.I did not know to seize the day.I don't think this letter explains enough.But I'll promise this,given a million chances I'll choose you every single time.

 It took sometime for her to take all this in.She never expected something like this to come her way.She stood up,turned back.She saw him smiling at him.The rain outside stopped.Tears rolled down her cheeks.She felt it.She felt what she dared she'd never feel.He made her feel it.


She felt love.


She felt like an ordinary woman.

பினாத்தல்கள்

 எப்போதும் நினைத்ததுண்டு தமிழில் எழுத வேண்டும் என்று.. வாய்ப்பு இருந்தும் பயன்படுத்திக் கொள்ளவில்லை. இன்று பார்த்த கமலஹாசன் திரைப்படம் ஒன்று தமிழில் எழுதியே தீர வேண்டும் என்ற எண்ணத்தை ஏற்படுத்தியது.
அன்பே சிவம் என்று கூறி எழுத தொடங்குகிறேன் படிப்பவர்கள் மன்னிக்கவும்,நிறைவேறாத ஆசைகளில் ஒன்றாவது நிறைவேற்றிக்கொள்ளலாம் என்று முற்படுகிறேன்.

வகுப்பறையில் இன்று அதிகம் பேசிவிட்டேனோ என்ற எண்ணம் சில மணி நேரமாக உருத்திகொண்டிருகிறது.ஏனோ தெரியவில்லை புது இடமோ பழைய இடமோ நான் நானாகவே இருந்து விடுகிறேன்.சில நேரங்களில் பலனளித்தாலும் பல சமயம் எனக்கும் பிறர்க்கும் இடையூறாகவே  முடிந்து விடுகிறது.விளைவு இன்று நான் இங்கு பொலம்புவது.


பேச்சைக்குறை
பிறரை பேச விடு 
காதை கூர்மைப்படுத்து
அமைதி காத்தலைக் கடை பிடி


அந்த சில மணி நேரத்தில் கற்ற பாடங்கள் இவை


நண்பர்கள் என்றாலே எனக்கு இருக்கும் 3   பேரே நினைவுக்கு வருகிறார்கள்.அது இன்றும் என்றும் நிலைக்க வேண்டும்.நிலைக்கும்.புது இடம் புகுந்து சில நாட்களே ஆகிறது.இருப்பு கொள்ள வில்லை எனக்கு.சில நேரங்களில் எதுவும் வித்யாசபடவில்லை மற்ற நேரத்தில் எண்ணமோ குறை நெஞ்சை குடைகிறது


நண்பர்களைத் தேடாதே நல்ல நட்பைத் தேடு
தனிமையில் அறிவாய்  உன்னை நீயே


இசை எப்போதுமே துணை போகிறது.எல்லா நேரத்திற்கும் உகுந்த பாடல்களை எவனோ  ஒருவன்  எழுதிவிட்டு செல்கிறான்.


Facebook -உம வர வர பொழுது போக்க உதவ நிறுத்திவிட்டது.எனக்கும் தினசரி எழுத வேண்டும் என்று ஆசை தான்.எல்லா வற்றையும் விட எழுதுவதில் எண்ணமோ ஒரு சொட்டு மகிழ்ச்சி கூடவே எழுகிறது.ஆசை உண்டு எழுத வார்த்தைகள் வர மறுக்கிறது.அதுவும் நல்லதுதான் உங்களுக்கு ;)


கோவம்  வருகிறது.என் மேல்,சுற்றி இருப்பவர்கள் மேல்,இவர்கள் ஏன் இருக்கவேண்டும் என்று.இல்லாதவர்கள் மேல்,ஏன் இவர்கள் இல்லாமல் போகிறார்கள் என்று.


ஏனோ ஒரு நாள் விடுமுறை விட்டதன் பழி தீர்பதற்காக ,நான்கு நாட்களாக வெயில் பழி தீர்கிறது.வெயில் பேரை சொல்லி விடுமுறை விட்டால் கோவம் தீருமோ என்னவோ.


சில வகுப்புகளில் ஏன் தான் உட்கார்திருகோம் என்று தோன்றும்.கோவம் வரும்.படிப்பில் விளையாடுகிறார்களே என்று தோன்றும்.ஆசிரியப்பணி புனிதமானதல்லவோ? 
கேள்வி கேட்க ஆள் இல்லை.கல்லூரி என்றால் ஆசிரியர்கள் இப்படித்தான் என்று அமைந்து விட்டது மாற்றம்  வர வாய்ப்பும் இல்லாமல் போனது.இந்த நிலையிலும் சில ஆசிரியர்கள் உயிரை கொடுத்து பாடம் கற்பிக்கிறார்கள்.தலை வணங்க வேண்டியவர்கள் அவர்கள்


செய்திகள் பார்ப்பதை முற்றும் நிறுத்தி விட்டேன்.
ஏனோ அரசியலில் ஆர்வம் சற்றும் இல்லை
ஏமாற்றும் அரசியல்வாதிகள் 
ஏமாறும் மக்கள்
மாறப்போவதில்லை நாடு.


எல்லா பாடங்களையும் விட வாழ்கை பாடமே எனக்கு மிகவும் பிடித்ததாகவும் அடிக்கடி பேசப்படும் தலைப்பாகவும் இருந்து வருகிறது.ஏனோ எனக்கு நானே அறிவுரை கூறிக்கொள்வது  மிகவும் பிடித்தமான ஒரு வேலையாக உள்ளது
எழுதிவிட்டு நானே படித்து தோளில்  தட்டிக்கொள்வேன்.


புத்தகங்கள்,என்றும் எப்போதும் என்னுடன் வரக்கூடிய அறிவுச்செல்வம்
ஒரு மாதத்திற்கு இரண்டு அல்லது மூன்று புத்தகங்கள் படிக்கிறேன்.செலவிட நேரமும்  பணமும் அளவாக இருப்பதனால்.


சிறு குழந்தை ஒன்றை பேருந்தில் பார்த்தேன்.என்னை அறியாமல் சிரித்த தருணம்.பொக்கிஷம்.என்னுடைய நாள் முற்று பெற்றது.


தந்தையின் காதோரம் கதை சொல்லிக்கொண்டே வந்தது.நான் இறங்கும் வரையில் இறங்கிவிடதே என்று எண்ணிக்கொண்டே பயணித்தேன்.ஆசை நிறைவேறியது.


இன்றும் அதே இடத்தில் அதே பிச்சைக்காரன்.மற்றம் மானிடத்தத்துவம்   இல்லையோ?


எண்ணங்கள் பாய்கின்றன.ஒரு கோர்வையான பதிப்பு வந்துவிட்டதா  என்று படித்து பார்கிறேன்.பாதியில் நிறுத்தி,என்னுடைய ஆசைக்காக  எழுதுவது.எப்படி இருந்தால் என்ன என்ற எண்ணம்.


என்னை விட வயதில் பெரியவர்களுடன் அதிகம் நேரம் செலவிடுகிறேன்.அதனாலோ என்னவோ மெதுவாக உலகம் சுற்றுவது போல எண்ணம் எனக்கு.


எதோ ஒன்று குறைகிறது.ஏன் என்று சொல்ல வார்த்தை வர வில்லை.
எழுத நினைத்தேன்.எழுதி விட்டேன்.
ஆசை,பேராசை.நிறை வேறியது.


பற்பல எண்ணங்கள்.
நல்ல நாள்.
கொஞ்சம் மோசமான நாள்.
பல நிறங்கள் ஒவ்வொரு நாளும் ஒவ்வொரு வாரமும்.
நாளை ஞாயிறு.எழுதுகையிலே முகத்தில் மலர்ச்சி.
நாள் நிறைவுக்கு வருகிறது. 


இதுவும் கடந்து போகும்.