Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it is 2012.

2012 is here and like the learned of today has told us to, we conveniently have ignored all scientific beliefs and have decided to believe the Mayans. Though the linguists have managed to understand not a single character of the Mayan script they are pretty sure that the Mayans believed that the world would end precisely on the 21st of December 2012. Some insufficiently educated scientists claim that when it is 21st of December elsewhere it would be 22nd in Australia but the theologists have strong evidence of the Mayan inscriptions. Now that we don't have a choice but to believe that the world would power off in December, we might as well prepare ourselves for the end. Though the power of the Almighty is way beyond the comprehension of man, the world has been gifted with a few super powers like Chuck Norris who might end up saving the world after all. 


After rigorous sessions of brainstorming the United Nations superpower committee has narrowed down to the following and wants the committees of the other organisations to vote in favour of one of them.


Plan 1: 


Our first resort would be Sachin Tendulkar. As always he will be the man of the hour. For those who are raising an eyebrow along with irrelevant questions like "How?" the committee has the following answer. Sachin Tendulkar would stall from scoring his 100th 100 well past the 21st of December as he has got plans to visit Australia and New Zealand along with his family at the expense of the BCCI during the next world cup. He has assured that he will score his hundredth ton during the India England series of 2015 where Dravid's son is all set to make his debut. Since Sachin would not have scored his hundredth ton by 21st of December the world cannot possibly come to an end. Brilliant ain't it?


Well, if at all Sachin fails to deliver by scoring his century we have back ups.


Plan 2: 


Anna Hazare has promised that he would go on a fast unto death against the end of the world with just an hour's break everyday for lunch.


Plan 3:


Hrithik Roshan and Abishek Bacchan are our next resort. They have confirmed that the script for Dhoom-22 is ready and they would do all that they can to stop the world from shutting down in December. When pestered consistently they revealed that the story has an amazing chase sequence which was inspired from a similar sequences in Dhoom-1 to Dhoom 21. Abhishek also added that the Bacchan daughter makes her debut in that movie and said that he will do all that it takes to enjoy that proud moment. 


Plan 4: 


Vijay Tv has promised that they'll conduct the finals of Super singer on the 21st of December. Their event will make sure that the whole world is distracted from the destruction happening outside while the people are glued to their tv sets. Just like their previous editions the finals would extend till the next day as this time the fathers of the contestants have also promised to cry. 


Plan 5:


Plan 5 is the god of all back ups. If all the above plans fail, we'd be consulting the only man who can make anything possible- Rajnikanth.


Happy new year :)

I might as well join the bandwagon

This post can also be titled "A day in the life of " or just in case the limelight misses you "How I joined a billion people in worrying about Tendulkar's ton :-)" 


Before you get all worked up and go "the fuck is this, the fuck is that" on the comments section, I'd like to make four things clear:
1. I'm as much a fan of Sachin as you are. You are probably better because no matter what I say, you will claim so.


2. Sachin will NOT read this blog post even if his astrologer says that reading this will make getting the 100th hundred easier.


3. It's an undeniable fact that Sachin is one of the greatest ever to have swung the willow because none has tried denying it in the first place. Also because it is kinda true.


4. Read points 1-3 until you are clear.


It is indeed sad that a handful of recent happenings have stolen the thunder from Sachin, who, now probably is at some dimly lit bar in Melbourne drinking away his woes. It is important to get over sorrow to become successful. The popular saying goes 'jo jeeta hai woe hi sikkandar'. It has been a real tight competition among Sachin, Kapil Sibal, Anna Hazare and a bunch of corrupt politicians. But in the end, cricket has been the winner, every time.


Godwin's law says that every discussion on the internet will sooner or later end up in Nazi bashing. The Indian version of it is that every discussion will end up with the conversationalists worrying about Tendulkar's hundred not unlike the Tambrahm parent concerned about the son's centum in Mathematics or a bad joke on death and destruction. I ask you one simple question which I have asked myself numerous times in vain, why?

Immediate attention and all that, but there is an etiquette to make jokes, right? Everything is not a joke. There was a fire in a hospital at Calcutta today. The death toll reached 20. And somewhere someone has been making "Who will reach 100 first? Death toll or Sachin?" No expletive can express how cruel this is. It's a welcome change that people have started taking things light. You move on, make a couple of jokes and laugh about it. But when? Not when Rome is still burning. If you come to me with "Nero became famous because he played when Rome was burning. Not when Rome was, well, not burning" I will reply with "fornicate thee" in street language. I'm not asking you to cut down the jokes completely or something like that. I spend major part of my day coming up with pathetic jokes myself. But there is a line and most of us are crossing it even before we tweet or put up a facebook update. 


Wait. I know what you are thinking.I asked you not to talk about Sachin everywhere but I did here.
I asked you not to make jokes about death but I did here.


I being one among you in the society will escape with the same excuse. Everyone is busy coming up with stuff like this, so, I might as well join the bandwagon.

One short

'Sachin's on 99 international centuries' 

This news has been on air for a while now. The whole world of cricket fans come to the edge of the seat whenever he comes to bat and hopes beyond all doubts that he'll score it in that particular match.


Well, I, though am one of them million( read gazillion) fans of SRT who are waiting for the 100th 100, recently a certain other 100th something has grabbed my attention. Yes, this page has grown in size, boredom and levels of facepalmness and would soon be playing host to my 100th post. As I have been posting in milestone posts about what the milestone is and there by losing the opportunity to give the readers something worthwhile to go through, here we go.

What started as a fancy just because everyone had a blog has now become an obsession, a prized treasure. I have been speaking stuff like how awesome a career in writing would treat oneself. That joy when someone likes the link when I post in on facebook, its priceless. Twitter made a revolution to my blog. Brought in readers only because the twitter celebrities retweeted the link. The number of page views never fail to make me smile.


After all these changes, improvements in my view, there are still a few things that remain unchanged:

- Few people without whom the blog would not be what it is today. You, the one reading it, you know its you.

- Me wanting to write a post. Though I knew I'll come up with something as lousy as this I didn't stop myself from writing.


- My hundredth post has already been drafted in my mind. Yes, one of those rare occasions where I plan and write stuff.


- This point has been added just to keep the game going.


So see you all on the other side of the century. And yes, just like you are hoping for Sachin to score his 100th 100, do hope for more posts to come :) A big thank you to everyone who has landed on this page. You guys are awesome.

The wizard of oz

Born as the eldest of the four children of Lorraine and Graeme on December 19 in Tasmania, Ricky Thomas Ponting made his debut as a number six against South Africa in the Quadrangular series that included India and New Zealand also. 


I probably have not been such a faithful fan of Punter to quote all this statistics and hence I had to quote my friends from Wikipedia. 


Australia won the world cup for the first time in the year 1987 and there was no turning back since then. They have been putting up a phenomenal performance every single time and from 1999 till last Thursday the Aussies were pwning the international arena.


Now, coming back to Ricky Ponting, he was part of the world cup team for the first time in 1996 and ended the tourney with a decent average of 32 odd runs. And then started his dream run. Ponting was always groomed to become the captain one day and he took the torch from the legendary Steve Waugh when Steve underperformed in 2002.

And there was no turning back from then. Ponting is easily one of the best players, perhaps, at times he was on top of everybody, even the over-hyped Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar. I respect Sachin and all that, but he is over-hyped. Dot.


He is a captain whom I consider the best only next to Sourav Ganguly.
Again, I'm not good with stats and hence being the simple and silent fan I am, I restrict myself to telling everyone who reads this the reasons why whoever is bitching about Ponting shouldn't be bitching about him: 

~ First up, Ponting is one of the VERY BEST, agree or don't read further.


~ You hate Ponting because others do, ask yourself and you'll know you cried everytime he got out between 95-99.


~ You and I weren't around when Bradman played and cricket has changed in a million ways since then. Ponting is Australia's greatest for my generation. Of course excluding Glenn-God-Mcgrath and Shane Warne. 


~ The way he plays the lofted cover drive has given orgasms to many. You're kidding yourselves if you are even trying to disagree.


~ You have played cricket since you outgrew the length of a bat and still you'd love to play if you getting out goes unnoticed. Stop cribbing. 


~ The pressure of defending the world cup for the second consecutive time. IMAGINE how humongous it would be and yet he scored a brilliant century in the very same match where others failed. 


~ I haven't jumped or enjoyed my beer along with a million other Australians when Ricky scored a century every time but many a time I have been one of the very firsts to heave a sigh of relief once he crosses 99. To pull statistics he is just a few runs short of Sachin whose statistics stands the tallest. 


Respect him, cheer for him, put your hands together and let yours, yes you the silent fan who was ashamed to rejoice when the man scored, be one of the first drop of tears that fall when Ricky Thomas Ponting leaves the field for one last time.

All hail number 14!

The curious case of muniyandi mutton..

"Indha hotel la biriyani kedaikuma?"
(Will biriyani be available in this hotel?)


"Aama idhu periya Muniyandi vilas.Biriyani irundhutta mattum"
(Well,like this is 'Muniyandi vilas',even if there was its not going to be good)


Numerous such conversations have been heard by me.For instance,all halwas are compared to Tirunelveli halwa because there's a particular halwa maker who made Tirunelveli famous for halwas.This is a factual and obvious reference.So many places in India have become references for stuff they are seldom famous for.


Like, "Ivaru periya George bush.English la thaan pesuvaro" (You think you're George bush or what? Will you speak nothing but English?) 


This is highly irrelevant considering George Bush and almost all the Americans for that matter speak English in the most crappy way possible.


Acting like Bombay heroines, Playing like Sachin, Writing poetry like Shakespeare(I bet people who uses this can never comprehend a single verse from his works.Trust me, his wife ran away) all these are insane references.Bombay heroines cannot act,Sachin's son is not able to imitate him and Shakespeare need I say more? 

If this they call it sarcasm either they are too old or too dumb.
I'd say Dancing like Bhagyaraj,Poetry like Mirchi Shiva,Six like Gavaskar and Sex like Rakhi Sawant might fall under Sarcasm of my age.Get updated,Get upgraded.