Bada Bejaara pochu

What? What is the problem with you? I’m simply asking. It shouldn’t rain for half an hour? It rains when we are all asleep and the roads start playing spot the difference with the drainage. Shouldn’t we travel at all? Leave this aside. At least some roads are okay. But traffic. I can’t even begin to describe.

Who is that genius who coined the term ‘crossroads of life’? This is something called metaphor you fools.  But no, you don’t know that. In the middle of the road only you will get wonderful thoughts. What are you? Tolstoy? You stand at the junction and stare at passing vehicles and smile at people who are honking the horns. Idiot they are not applauding you, they are asking you to move.

And then the families, large ones with grand old thathas and kids with shoes that make noise, who are on the way to a wedding. You and all should catch a lorry and go to a wedding. Why are you crossing roads like some group of protesters? The wife will drop her ara mozham malliga poo only when she is crossing the road. The old lady will remember that she didn’t turn off the cylinder. Why do you crawl from one side of the road to other? That baby ohmygod it won’t stop crying. 

Hey, you lady. Your dog will go for sussu only in main road ah? No, no? Then take it for a walk in your neighbourhood. We all know you have spent 15,000 in buying that dog. If only it had a job it would give 10 rupees extra to escape from your house. You won’t give food or water but you want it to go for sussu na how it will go? Pedigree and all supplement only. If you give just that add two bananas with the diet. Else don’t ask it to try.

The cyclists think they are Wangari Mathai or what? We understand you are green citizens and want to avoid pollution. But there are other green citizens in the form of auto drivers. You are showing stunt like Lance Armstrong and this autodriver scolds us using words that he himself don’t know meaning about. How will he know if I have thangachi or not? He doesn’t care. What if I stay in hostel? What will I answer if I’m running away from home and he asks me ‘Veetla sollitu vandhiya?’ Already I will have guilt. 

Pedestrians will do window shopping from the road. Arey, use binoculars and do window shopping from house. There is a procedure to ask lift. You can’t come and fall in front of my bike and ask for a lift. I’m Share auto driver kya? 

Everyone cannot be Ambani and buy helicopters. Walk sensibly. Don’t listen to Abishek Bacchan and walk and talk. Already traffic police are asking regular shares from my pocket money. Don’t make me pay for accidents also.

Be good.

Thank you Local party  for the inspiration :D


PS: I had created a tumblr site and had posted this. Re posting it here, as that site became obsolete :)