Thursday, December 20, 2012

I'm ashamed to be a man

I did not want to write about this. 

Everybody has made their point. They want the rapists to be killed, castrated, burnt, stoned to death.

What were they waiting for? Why today? Were they waiting to see how violent men can get? This is not the first time something as brutal as this has happened. Rapes happen everyday. We talk about it, we sign petitions, we go on protest marches but what can we do about it? Nothing. Because there is nothing to do. Punishment solves the problem? Do you think the victims care about that? No. 

The media and most of us are using this opportunity to be heard. Branding Delhi as the rape capital. How is that civilized? That man would have raped a woman if he was from Delhi, Madras or Varanasi. 

You suggest education. Flawed.

Where are we going wrong? Educating the men about women? Education doesn't solve anything. At least not in this country. We are taught history and science and math. And we copy from our friend during the exam. Are we sufficiently educated in math?  

You suggest spreading awareness. Flawed.

After 60 odd years of independence, 10 five-year plans and schools and colleges, men are not ashamed to pee in public. Awareness much? 

If you are reading this looking for a solution to all this please stop and carry on with your work. I am not suggesting a solution because there is none. Writing articles, updating Facebook statuses and tweeting about rape and the effects of it will not make a change. The ten men who ganged up on the girl couple of days back were the same ten men who read the newspaper article on a 5 year old being raped a week back, a 20 year old being raped 10 days back. The same men who 'liked' and shared a facebook update on saving all women who are targetted by sex thirsty animals on their way back home. A rapist is reading this now. He will be done with this article go out and rape a woman, because it is okay to destroy the life of a 5 year old kid or a 50 year old woman for the sake of his pleasure. Because it is okay. Because he is a man. Because he has a penis. That is a superpower in this wretched country. 

In this sovereign democratic secular republic country, all a girl has to do to get raped is walk home after watching a movie, in broad daylight. 

You suggest self-defense. Flawed.

When ten brutal animals gang up on one girl what amount of self-defense will help? A revolver has 6 bullets. These animals will wait for the victim to exhaust all that, then rape her. Because sex is important than another person's life. Because raping a woman is a badass act. Because the movies say so. The man who rapes a girl in a movie drives a BMW. Because lust trumps every human emotion. It is sacrilegious to use the word human in this post because the men in this country are anything but human. 

What else can be done? I don't know. Do you? No. We can hang 10 men. And 10 more rapists are born the next day. You think they are not aware of the prison sentence? No. 

I am scared. I am scared for the people around me. I am scared for my friends. I am scared for my family. I am scared because these men are widening their borders of cruelty everyday. 

I am scared.

I did not want to write about this because all that has to be written has been written. I did not want to write about this because I did not want attention. I did not want to be called an hypocrite.  I did not want to write about this because I don't know what she went through. No amount of explanation will make me realize that. I did not want to write about this because I am a man. I did not want to write about this because I am ashamed to be a man.

I am ashamed. I am ashamed to be a man. I am ashamed to be a man in this country.


  1. I am also ashamed to comment! But what is the use if we all tell that nothing will change and remain silent? What is the use if we remain passive seeing such things happen in our country? At least we must show that not all men are alike! Not all men are sex thirsty animals! Not all of us! There are still men left to stop this!

  2. Increasing punishments is not going to stop everyone from that brutal act. But it may stop a few. If he think your penis will be cut the day after you rape a girl,will he even think about it. Lets show these basterds India can also have punishments like those. These fuckers should be punished and its our responsibility to make sure that happens. I am ashamed. But I won't make my kid feel the same.

  3. Rapes and other heinous crimes are committed by people who think that they will not be caught and punished. Either because of their influence/ money power and/or their faith in the inefficiency of Law Enforcement Agencies and the Judiciary. They also count on the silence of victims and Society as a whole to escape punishment for their crimes. That is why the common people have to make it clear to Politicians that they have zero tolerance towards such crimes. It is only then that things will happen. Such crimes are not committed by decent people but by those who are spoilt, and they can only be curbed by deterrance.

  4. i second what our anonymous reader has written...i do think hanging rapists will have an effect...coz the rationale behind murder is,"i will kill him even if it means getting hanged myself"...i dont think that hold good for least the number of rapes will come down...and for God's sake dont write so badly about India...plz...a humble request from my side :)

  5. and i have a blog too....:)

  6. The key lies in treating the cause - Which I feel is the lack of respect to Women in general.

    We call our sister's as figures. Now, where did all that come from?

    It can be solved by good parenting. What can you and I do?

    1. Be good parents.
    2. Try to make a change in our circles of influence.


    2 women sexually abused 8 year old child

    I am ashamed to be a woman.
    Being a women myself, I understand there are lots of sex crazy psychic women-teens too in the same proportion, who do a lot of bad things to children in the name of child care; and escape easily due to their feminity. My own 6 year old son was sexually abused by his creche child care teen age girl. I was shocked like hell, and still do not know whom to trust.