The good wife

She was washing the dishes by the sink.


It was around seven in the morning.He came downstairs, groggy eyed,  more due to the alcohol than due to sleeplessness. He was angry at her because she did not wake him up by six thirty like he had asked her to. She tried, she couldn't, she did not mention that. He brushed, had the juice and breakfast she'd prepared. He was complaining all through breakfast. He swore at her for misplacing the tie. Amidst all this he forgot to thank her for steaming his suit, not to forget his pearl white shirt. He slammed the door hard, left without a goodbye. 


She was washing the dishes by the sink.

Weather or not

Long long ago, when the world was not infected by H1N1, T.Rajendar, Justin Beiber and the like, there was a guy clad in Levy jean, Rayban shades Adidas shirt, Fastrack watch and Reebok shoes. Ok I just made that up. The guy whose costumes remain a mystery. was walking through the forests which can be found in today's western ghats. So there, he was walking through it and saw a sage in deep penance. Our guy, who is like the person who's typing off crap in the page, was curious to know who was the sage and what kept him busy.(I can hear my mind voice saying "Curious? You? Ha, your reader(s) is/are not fools dude". Well yeah, that sure doesn't sound like me. So I'll try another version, he simply wanted to disturb him. Now that sounds like me)


Well, he thought of a plan as he came up with a pretty lame one. He took out his wand( Fastrack glasses, cape and a wand, No not another Harry Potter ) So he conjured a catapult. he was shocked because he wanted to conjure Kat and make her dance for Sheila ki Jawani and he said the spell for CATapult instead of KATrina Kaif. He said &^%*^%$&&% : (Thats the F-word in sanskrit by the way) and went back to the job of distracting the sage. He aimed a stone at the sage and to his surprise struck him at the fist attempt. The sage knew who it was as he was cheating on his penance,had spotted him a while back and he had been the only means of entertainment in weeks. He cursed him and sent him to the court of Indra.


Indra, Varuna et all were busy watching Urvasi and Menaka dancing for Sheila ki jawani (Atleast Indra remembered half the the spell ) and were interrupted by our guy. They asked him the purpose of his visit. He said he was cursed and wanted to do something in redemption. They asked him what he was good at. He recalled his Deal/No deal and said he was good at guessing. 


Indra: " Who will be the most popular man a million years from now"


Our guy: "Rajnikanth"


Indra was stumped.


Varuna: "Who will be the second most popular man a million years from now?"


Our guy: "You think you can get me with this? That's Rajnikanth again!"


Varuna was stumped too.


Meanwhile Indra reminded Varuna that it was time to change the weather in Chennai from Sunny-like-its-never-been to Rain-cats-and-dogs as there was a cricket match scheduled to begin in a few minutes.


Varuna got a spark of an idea.He said "Hey you've a zillion chances to guess the weather change that I'm about to bring. You'll be free from the curse if you get it right atleast once"


And he started guessing a million years ago, and is still trying to guess it correctly. By the way I forgot to name the character, we'll better call him RAMANAN.

Evolution

Billions of years ago, he was walking through the forest, killing all those he saw ahead, not unlike today's men. Could not blame him, he must have been hungry. Once he sat down, was staring at the rabbit that he'd caught. He left it free. He started thinking.

This is it?

There were friends four in number,
You, you,you and me.
It went as far as I can remember,
You,you,you and me.


There are voices in my head,
Screaming at a crescendo.
There's no way back through time,
I've never felt this low.


Scream at me, 
Say life's such a bitch.
Can Somebody please explain to me,
That text,
This sudden hitch.


How can you just lose trust,
Suddenly one fine day?
My life's graph just met a bay,
When destiny gave me this tryst.


This certainly is going to be a long day,
I'm learning things the hard way.


There were friends four in number,
You, you,you and me.
It went as far as I can remember,
You,you,you and me.


Cried like the rain,
So long so hard.
Tried not to strain,
Its really so hard
With a heart full of pain.


There were friends four in number,
You, you,you and me.
It went as far as I can remember,
you,you,you and me.


Am I Broken,
Taken,
Mistaken?
I never thought I'd be this shaken.


The thoughts are striking me numb,
Making me sick, making me blind.
These are moments worst to succumb,
All I wish is there's a rewind.


You of all people refuse to believe,
You could've slapped,
Made me think,
All this stopped,
Before I even blinked.
You think I should just leave?


There were friends four in number,
You, you,you and me.
It went as far as I can remember,
you,you,you and me.


Is it just an illusion,
That I were your life's possession.
Please tell me its a delusion,
That you hate me in unison.


I sit here on my bed,
With eyes blood red.


There were friends four in number,
You, you,you and me.
It went as far as I can remember,
You,you,you and me.


And the fourth fella just dropped dead.

Crushed.. 2.0

On an evening when it began to rain,
I tried to rhyme and ended up in vain,
Not so easy when I'm in pain,
I think of you and miss my train.


Snail-like you crawled into me,
Hell and heaven together do I see.
Always tried to give you a hint,
Ridiculous, you never got what I meant.


Moon, Sun and the stars seem old,
I went to have my fortune told.
Love me and I'll shower you with gold,
Although its hot I feel so cold.


Deep in my heart you left a mark,
Which by the way is your new home.
Even in daylight I stay in the dark,
Just because YOU're my glowworm.
Thinking of you makes me feel so warm,
And time's proved again you're cheesecharmer's charm.

I want her to be mine.
She is my drug.
I forgot the very next line,
Scribbled in a paper rug.

சித்திரமும் கைப்பழக்கம்..

சித்திரமும் கைப்பழக்கம்
செந்தமிழும் நாப்பழக்கம்

காலைப்பனி, கதிரவன்
குளிர்காற்று, குருவிச்சத்தம்
இவற்ற்றை ரசிக்க
அதிகாலை எழுதல் பழகு.

எதுகை மோனை
காதல் கோபம்
இவற்ற்றை ரசிக்க
தமிழ் படித்தல் பழகு.

கடல் கடந்து சென்றாலும்
பெயர் நிலை நிருட்ட
தமிழில் புரிந்து
பல மொழி பழகு.

மரமும் கொடியும்
அழகாய் தெரியும்
நாட்களை ரசிக்க
காதல் பழகு.

வீரம் காட்ட
குரோதம் நீக்க
ஆழ் மனம் அடங்க
ரௌத்திரம் பழகு.

எல்லா கேள்விக்கும்
விடை ஒருவன் அறிவான்
என்று நம்பி
ஆத்திகம் பழகு.

அத்தனை பதிலயும்
அப்படியே நம்பாமல்
ஆழ்ந்து யோசிக்க
நாத்திகம் பழகு.

எல்லா நிலையிலும்
உனக்கு மேல் ஒருவன்
இருப்பதை எண்ணி
அடக்கம் பழகு.

உன்னிடம் இருப்பது
உழைப்பால் வந்ததாயின்
உரிமை கொண்டாடி
ஆணவம் பழகு.

 பத்து வயதில்
எனக்கேன் இதெல்லாம்?
பதினெட்டில் புரிந்தது
சித்திரமும் கைப்பழக்கம்.

The clown who frowned

Bad weather which brings,
Sad thoughts and mood swings.
Which makes me write crap,
And shamelessly call it rap.
On a tuesday which is usually not brisk,
I wrote this down, read at your own risk.


In the town that was so glee,
There was a happy clown.
To see him people used to flee,
For he never had a frown.


There once was a little girl,
Who was an only daughter.
She was all sad and dull,
The clown vowed to bring back her laughter.


She said she did not have a brother,
He sat down thinking of a plan.
Told her why ask another,
For he was as good a man.


She took him as her own,
Asked all she could.
He brought her a pink gown,
And made her toys of wood.


Her mom gave birth to a baby boy,
She never again came to see the clown.
The clown felt nothing but plain joy,
For he never used to frown.


There was a girl who was single,
For she never befriended a guy .
The clown sang her a jingle,
Danced with her,
She forgot to cry.


A prince asked her to marry,
She was given the crown.
Her life turned so merry,
And she forgot the clown.


The girl and the princess,
Saw him through fences.
Yet happy was the clown,
For he never used to frown.


The clown was left aloof,
His sad days were living proof.
None remembered the clown, 
Who never used to frown.


His days turned so blue,
As leaves were full of dew.
His life became upside down,
And taught him how to frown.


The village of glee,
Slowly forgot to flee.
To see the happy clown,
Who never used to frown.

SOP of a porn star

This post contains obtuse use of profane language and the author strictly advises people who do not want to change their opinions on me from worse to worst, against reading this piece. Read at your own risk. 



To be or not to be is yesterday's question while to be with how many is today's.


My objective for graduate studies in the field of Algorithms in Simulations and stimulation of  simultaneous copulation is to prepare myself for a sustained and consistent career in the field said. I have developed this ambition long since I could remember and I have always pursued it with a hardcore approach to gain in-depth knowledge.


My interests vary from threesome to so many other awesome modus operandi and I'm sure that I'm familiar with the basics. Also I have thoroughly studied the papers on "Aesthetics of multiple orgasms" and my rigorous approach on preparing a self experiment based on the said paper was immensely encouraged by almost all the male faculty not only in my department, but also many others whose name I wouldn't prefer to mention for customary reasons.


I'm familiar with the operation of Square wave vibrators which work solely based on the principle of generation of Moans( pronounced as ooh-laa-laa) , muons and positrons developed by the world reknown Dr.Prakash who is a proud alumnus of my institution.


Therefore, I, Parimala Anbarasan, wish to enrol myself in the graduate program offered by you, The University of Penisylvania, through which I'm sure to gain first hand experiences and exclusive knowledge which would sure encourage me to pursue a PhD if offered in your University.




Sincerely,
Parimala Anbarasan.

The prologue

In all seriousness this time I'm serious. I have started with so many books which never crossed the prologue page, I mean writing them ofcourse. This time around I promise myself for the millionth time that atleast a few chapters will be done before this book goes into the recycle bin. I'm setting out to write the prologue and it goes live on my blog. Feedback, sincere feedback would be really appreciated.




Heroes are not born. They are made out of cowards, cowards who react. He was one among them, one who never thought he'd make it big in his life, one who thought famous people were film stars, politicians and sportsmen. 


There were eyes all around him. People he knew, people he did not, people whom he knew and thought they never knew him. Ironically, it was going to be over soon. 


It was a fine day. A perfect weather to do anything, but this. He knew this would come up if not sooner. he was always expecting this, which made him to act fast with life, sort out things then and there possible. 


They questioned him when, where and how. But none asked him why. The world must know why. More than whatever he told them, he wanted to say this. Wanted to say why, not to justify, not to boast about but because of what he believed.


After all, the truth must be told.

Cats, Dogs and the class that was..

#include< stdio.h >
#include< conio.h >


Right. I got carried away there since it was about 'C' batch.

Now, that everyone's done with cursing me, read ahead. I thought of starting this post in a light tone (please wait, don't close the page yet). I don't wish to make you all watery eyed with this post of mine, which you might become, if you have the will to stand one whole page of rants.


No post about C batch would be complete without mentioning the legendary Chandru, Raju, Murali and best of all Somu .No post would do justice to them in a single page so there's always that Reversible Irreversible post to speak all about these people which faithfully serves as a chat-room till date.


Though I'm reputed to absent myself from classes good enough to be forgotten (well, for those who have, I'm that sober number 25 who exists) I presume I've attended enough classes and I KNOW I've spent enough time with you guys to share something by putting this post in the best possible way.


There have been quite a few emotions and laughter stands tall among those. I had some of the best moments ever with you people. Amith was the first guy from this batch i got introduced to.  Pranav , Padmanabha and the iPhone-wala-who-shares-my-name were three people who were part of all the fun that I had ( though VK was a part of 'almost' all the fun since he disappeared for obvious reasons , I can't refrain myself from mentioning him) I've developed a liking for these three which I know would last for years to come and if not reciprocated your asses will be duly kicked.


And there came Kiran and his brainchild, the C batch group (EPIC C batch group) came in as a blessing. And my count of friends increased, atleast in my facebook account :D Thank you Kiran. And I got a very good friend, Bhavishya, the co-admin. Sure to stay a friend for long.


Speaking of FRIENDS, How am I ever going to repay you Arpita, for that book? That is making my weekend awesome-blossom.


And that group led to discussions and apparently we're going to have a get-together today. This is such a good idea because we fail to meet in class since not a single day has gone when C batch showed its full might to the attendance registers. 


And our classrooms, I love both of them. hall no. 73 (Vivek, remember its SEVENTY THREE) and the cinematic 111. i have always waned to sit inside a classroom with a theatrical architecture. Promise. Though 73 never had continuous electricity and 111 has always had broken desks to which Vivek added one more, I nevertheless loved the classroom more because of what happened and not where it did.


Those assessments where we had no clue whatsoever about the questions and even more clueless about the answers we wrote were indeed fun, not for the profs though.


Now here comes a series of statements which you must completely skip, or you'll wish you did once you complete reading through.


Though all we learnt from Chandru was to consider, assume and Yevaluate and most importantly not to sit both , I had the best laugh in his classes.


Though all we learnt from Murali was never to learn about Semiconductors, it is priceless to see his mock face when he asks a question that he knows none would dare answer.


Though we learnt never to annoy English ma'am by opposing her, lest we might get a six min lecture for a two min speech, I loved her classes.


Though we learnt nothing but the fact that no chemistry teacher can ever make a student study chemistry without mocking the teacher or the subject, I had some of the best rib-spraining, stomach-spasming, eye-watering laughter in his class. Special thanks to Padmanabha. Pranav knows why.


Wait, i'm losing track of the subjects we have. 


*Refers syllabus book*


Yeah, EG.


Though he used the worst grammar possible, I tend to mock him the least as he's the only one who teaches ( Not, the fact that I'm scared that he'll fail me in the 3rd assessment and will do so in the finals too because he'd feel he had not punished me enough)


Though in FOC classes, wait what am I doing? I've never attended FOC. Yet I can start it with a 'though'.


Though I never attended FOC and those who attended wished they hadn't , it probably was fun for those few. I'm forever grateful to Pranav, for the 4 or 5 marks that I'm getting in the internals is just because he took the pains to sit through hours of FOC. Take a bow for that.


Though the series of dumbwitted 'thoughs' is over, you may want to continue reading inorder to completely get a grasp of my joblessness.


By the time first assess got over, I got settled in the class and was content about the class's contents.I didn't imagine I would feel this way in such a short period of time.


I love everyone of you guys. Even though I haven't spent quality time with most of the 94 of you, i wish i 'd get a chance to connect wit all of you. I'd remember the names and recollect this wonderful class whenever someone mentions one of your names.


And I really wish Mohideen,Arpita, Sharmila, Sowmya, Nivedita,Ivaan,Giridhar, Ranganathan, Swetha, Praveen , Madhan and myself end up in the same class for the coming semesters.


I feel awful that Pranav, Padmanabha Vignesh and Bhavishya wouldn't be in my class. This guy here will miss you four BIG TIME. 


There are so many others whom I couldn't mention because, its too many people, its already such a long post ( most of you'd've slept twice or thrice already) and the author has been sleep deprived for the past two or so weeks.


Not to forget the monkeys and dogs that visted our class very often than we did.


To sum up, these 4 months were something that I would cherish forever. I hope you guys would remember me (of course you would ;) ) and this post would be something that connects us all.


PS: Sorry if I'd been rude or plain annoying. I'm too good a package and I come at this cost.


PPS: Pliss Ignore the PS ;)


PPPS: I hope the C lover of the C batch doesn't find any errors with the opening statement :P 


With tonnes of love and a tiny drop of tear,


Vignesh, Yeah that number 25 :)

Crushed..

The author is outstandingly overconfident and is of the opinion that anything that rhymes is poetry. He's one among the only person who sports such a view and it doesn't make a difference

My days were long and blue,

Without anything new, 
Until I had a view.
Of an incredible you.


Seasons do change when I,
Happen to see you smile,
Always be the same,
Red apple of my eye.


Mad about you and blind with love,
Inside my heart I protect you with a glove.
Liar not I am neither do I mean any harm,
As time's proved you're cheescharmer's charm.


All I want to do,
Is convey this message,
Nothing can keep it due,
Even limited usage.


I fall in love everytime you brush you hair aside
And I follow you like the rats did pied.
I stutter and my tongue gets tied,
And all I want is you as my bride .


Is this just a crush
I don't think it is,
But you make me speak to my brush,
While i'm crazy as it is.